After holidays,sickness and other interruptions to my writing, I opened my Life-Changing Waters manuscript I haven’t worked on since November. My Psalm 219 pretty much sums up where I am at the moment, annoyed at the things which have kept me from my writing passion, annoyed that my computer is not responding the way I’d like it to, annoyed that it has taken me twenty minutes to restore the settings I thought were in place, and annoyed that I probably won’t be able to finish the next entry before “life” intervenes again and draws me away. Sometimes I wish I were the writer in the garret, able to draw away and just write. Alas, (now there’s a literary word), that’s not likely to happen. As I read the last thing I wrote, My Psalm 219, I thought this could be a pity party, but it is only one portion of the book. This section is titled “Lack of Water: Needing God.” It’s obvious I need a dose of my own medicine. Today I will write about the lack of patience, but here is My Psalm 219 Annoyance. Can you relate?
My Psalm 219
Heavenly Father, I come to You in supplication
Yet, once more, yet again, I swim in the sea of discontent.
Every little thing is a torrent of impossibilities
My nerves are frazzled, my life’s a mess.
I know the problem. I know the results.
My spiritual life is frozen. I am not in Your Presence
Where the abundant Life flows with merciful plenty.
Help my unbelief.
Late to work, the house is a mess,
The kids are disobedient, I feel alone.
The car won’t start, I’ve lost that paper I just must find,
The washing machine overflowed again,
I need a new roof.
I’m feeling overwhelmed, and think no one cares.
I’m isolated, frozen in place, the Living Water is miles away.
And most of all, I’m tired of being tired.
I’m stuck in this block of ice, frozen in my tracks, trapped.
When I try to pray to You, as others tell me to do,
I feel the words are empty, they end at the ceiling.
My “I” gets in the way of the “You”
And I think, in my isolation, that even You do not care.
And that is as overwhelming as my life circumstance.
With the Psalm I read this morning,
I cry to You in desperation:
How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
And every day have sorrow in my heart?’
How long will my enemy triumph over me?.
At the end of the day, when I add up the annoyances
The list is long. I am discouraged.
Help my unbelief, Lord.
Melt the heart of stone that traps me.
Speak to me with the springtime thaw.
Measure out to me a cupful of Your blessing
So that I can begin to fill the well of my soul.
Then, when You again visit me with Your Spirit,
When my shaded eyes again see Your Presence
After this winter of discontent
I will know that You have once again sought me out,
And my fresh flowering will begin anew.
My annoyances will turn to times of trust in You
And I will once again flourish in Your Presence.
May it be today, Lord, that I once more proclaim:
But I trust in Your unfailing love,
My heart rejoices in Your salvation
I will sing to the Lord,
For He has been good to me. Amen.
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