Whew! Each year as I approach the holidays, I face the hustle, bustle, decision-making, meal-planning, decorations with less and less enthusiasm. It’s probably just that at eighty and a half, I find it all a bit overwhelming, and while I like to think I’m in charge of my life and decisions, invariably I am diminished by a very busy family and church life which dictates dates, menus, times and places, etc. and then I get told, after the fact and after the decisions are made, what to do. It’s a difficult transition for me.
This year, particularly, with COVID and its dangers, we could not gather with all those we wanted to be with, we couldn’t fellowship with our small group in person, we were hampered in seeing Paul and Mary and the grandchildren because out of state visitors came first, and there really was no reason (Rose Parade) etc. to gather for our traditional New Year’s Celebration, although we did, after a fashion.
We never got to play mini-golf, as usual. We did, however, take some chances. We did go out to dinner for our 52nd anniversary, although even that felt like it was an obligation for our kids, rather than a time of celebration. They even battled over paying for our dinner. How many times have we collected the bill?
We, or mostly I, shopped for meaningful presents for each child, and especially for the grandchildren, but by the time they got to our Christmas, not on Christmas day, of course, they had already had two other Christmases with gifts and dinners and loads of playtime. Ours became just one more. They brought previous presents to play with. Outs were quickly packed away in bags to take home.
New Year’s Day, the same happened. The playtime was with other presents than the ones we chose. My jealous heart is hurt. They even read books from other giftgivers.
i did, however have a delightful time with little Emily. She wants to be an architect. She saw a picture of a log cabin on my computer and wanted to know how to build one. We watched films of how they were built and why their houses were so small. The logs determined their size. Than she wanted to know how to build a skyscraper. We watched films of structures, of dangers to those buildings with earthquakes and storms. She is even more determined than before that she wants to build buildings. For some time I’ve save cardboard boxes, tubes, and other “stuructural” elements she can use to build towers and other things. Mom does not really appreciate it, her big bags and a box of “goodies,” but I fully expect after I am long gone, she will remember grandma for encouraging her dream.
As we face 2021, I can only wonder with the election turnout, the threat of Covid and worse, what the year will be like. I’m the eternal optimist, but can only pray that we remain safe and that we continue to be able to share our faith in the Sovereign God who knows all and is all.
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