In my seeking and seeing God’s grace in ’23, I’ve been thinking about the times God gives me confidence when I trust in Him. I sometimes fall into the relentless “worry-wart mode” when I think about how I’m to accomplish my goals as my eighty-two and a half body complains. Tasks that used to be routine now take planning, a long time to execute, and result in pain or exhaustion afterwards. But God says, we can be confident that He fulfills his promises forever, and that he neither slumbers or sleeps. He is a constant. That, along with my acceptance of limitations keeps my mind focused on more important things. One of the benefits of retirement is giving myself permission to be just a little bit of a procrastinator, and helps me establish priorities within reason.
So what if my Christmas tree is still decorated, a hundred nativities cover every surface in the living room, and the displaced items are scattered to our bedroom and the office is more cluttered than usual. It’s all temporary. So what if the garden cherubs and the outdoor nativity set still needs another coat of painr and touchups. We can’t use the porch at the loveliest time of the year. So what if the gardens need weeding yet again, and I know I’ll suffer in pain for two days if I try to work at it long enough to complete the task.
What can I do each day? What are the essentials? My family, my writing, my church activities, my Bible study, my prayer time. And if I establish those non-negotiables, I know God can take care of the rest. He is powerful, almighty, ever-present, and listens to my prayers. 1 John 5:14-15 says: “And we can be confident that He will listen to us whenever we ask Him for anything in line with His will. And if we know He is listening when we make our requests, we can be sure that He will give us what we ask for.”
Today: prayers for several friends dealing with physical illness far worse than mine, prayers for a sister going through the results of a scam. Her finances are a tangled web of desperation. Ours are feeling inflation’s tight boundaries. Prayers for Congress which can’t seem to get its act together. I just have three pairs of pants to hem, grocery shopping to do, and Christmas clutter to stash away so we can move in our little house. Prayers for those working to build our new church building. We rejoice that the concrete contractor can now begin his work. Prayers for the three teachers in our family and our grandchildren to return to school tomorrow. Mine is simpler. No more entertaining for a while. If my floors do not sparkle and there’s “stuff” on the serving counter, I can get to it when the time is right. Prayers for my book to be finished, proofread, edited and published. Mine means four a.m. writing time when I don’t have to be doing anything else but sleeping. It’s all good.
When I think about it, God has me in a good place. I have no lesson plans to prepare and execute. I have escaped the task of reading 150 students’ essays every week. I have no faculty meetings or parent conferences. I have no grades to post–all of that is gone. How did I manage that and raise two accomplished kids, care for parents who needed us, conduct church choirs, teach Sunday school and attend small group activities at church, and keep sane? It was that continual reliance on God to give me the strength I needed, the words to speak, the energy to accomplish what needed to be done, and the attitude that said then, and says now: “If it doesn’t matter in five years, it doesn’t matter in five minutes.
That gave me the confidence to face another day, and still does. I thank God for His providence and His willingness to stay with me for the long journey and forever after.
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