Remember that books a few years ago: “All I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”? In my year’s attempt to sow peace and grace in 2022,, a time when we need these by the bushel load, I think we need to get back to basics.
Considering the fact that courtesy and consideration seem to be in short supply these days, I’m suggesting we remember our early teaching and apply it every day to friends, family (we tend to let our guard down here), and strangers alike.
As we go about our daily shopping, driving, meetings (both in person and by Zoom or whatever) I’m making a conscious effort to remember the simple manners we learned as children. How affirming it is to compliment someone on his/her appearance, hairstyle, a color which brings out someone’s eye color or makes us happy, or a child’s enthusiasm for something. For examaple, this is what’s happened to me the last few days when I complimented a stanger.
I saw a harried mother toting a heavy baby, nurturing one in her very extended belly, and hauling a toddler. I told her: “You’ll remember these difficult days when they learn to say thank you. You’re doing the hard work that will pay off in future accomplishments your children will show you.” What a smile of grace she returned to me, that someone would notice her plight. I sat near an elderly woman in a restaurant. She looked dejected, tired, perhaps even in a state of mourning. I had no idea. As I left, I complimented her on the beautiful turquoise shirt she was wearing. I said, “You look lovely in that shade of blue. It brings out the sparkle in your eyes.” You’d think I gave her a million dollars. She smiled, her face looked brighter, and she said, “Thank you, my dear. You made my day. Happy New Year!” It was such a simple thing. Here are some suggestions:
When the takeout person, anonymous except as a voice, takes your order, think about this. He/She is earning minimum wage, cramped in a tiny spot without interaction with the rest of the “team”, scared of making a mistake, trying to hurry so that people don’t have to wait…a lot of pressure– When you get to the window, compliment that person on the sound of his/her voice. You have a wonderful speaking voice. Thank you for being so courteous. Have a great day!” can make that person’s day much brighter. Extend peace and grace.
When you see a stockperson in the grocery store or Dollar General, working hard to straighten displays, empty boxes, etc., say “Thank you,” or mention to the manager that he/she is working hard, or he was kind enough to find the right brand for me on his/her aisle. The manager feels affirmed that he’s supervising a superior worker, and he will pass on the compliment to that worker. Extend peace and grace.
Minimize the negative comments about other drivers! We’ve all made errors or been inconsiderate. Instead of noticing others’ poor choices, let’s tell ourselves that perhaps that person is late to a job interview, or that mom has been up all night with a sick child. Extend peace and grace to other drivers, give them a pass for the little inconvenience they may have caused.
When you admire the patience it takes for someone to braid long extensions and create a beautiful hairstyle, tell that person, as I did yesterday to a man who had dreadlocks halfway down his back, “I love the way you wear your hair. I’m so jealous!” You’d think I gave the man a hundred bucks. He thanked me with a broad smile. Extend peace and grace.
Try these learned in kindergarten manners to the understaffed servers in restaurant picking up four tables instead of three, to the manager who had only half his staff working, to the person with only a few items waiting behind your loaded grocery cart, or to the orchestra member who just played his/her heart out in a concert. Say, “thank you for what you do,” or “I appreciate your service,” or “Keep it up, you’re doing a great job!” We can make a difference saying please, thank you, instead of ignoring others’ needs.
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