As I considered yesterday’s post, about the Vietnamese family I just met, and read the list of 26 Brevard County merit scholarship winners announced in the paper, the thought struck me once again that we should once more look at the culture of those newly arrived to America. They seem to raise their children with utter confidence that in America, they can achieve greatness, while most of us take this truth for granted.
Ana and Khan assumed their children would graduate from university with advanced degrees. They came to this country with literally nothing, but they told their children that they needed to be serious about their studies and must achieve.
In yesterday’s list of scholarship winners, I noticed the dominance of foreign-sounding names: Indian and Asian primarily. There is nothing wrong with our American youth except their motivation and attitude. Today’s Daily Vitamin says: “Ability is what you’re capable of doing; Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.” In our efforts to make our children “happy” are we sacrificing the struggles of high achievement?
I happen to feel my children are great. They are happy in their profession of music and somewhat happy in their chosen careers teaching students. But I have pangs of guilt when I realize they struggle financially, and that, while they are blessed with high abilities, I may not have pushed enough, preached enough, demanded enough so that their abilities might have been developed to a greater degree in their field of performance. Then I fall into the questioning of whether I might have broken their spirit, urged them into careers they would not enjoy, and destined them to the stress of never living up to anothers’ expectations.
My daughter-in-love is so wise when she says, “It is what it is!” While as a parent I watch proudly as Nancy and Paul assume the adult roles they play, I can only trust that God has put them where they need to be, doing what they are called to do, and that we as parents fulfilled our duties toward them. So my attitude is that of gratitude for seeing the results of our parenting, and trusting the Lord to determine where their lives will bless others. They may, after all, teach the next generation of musical geniuses and prodigies, and find intense satisfaction in doing so. Meanwhile they are doing what they love to do, and that is, after all, ultimate success.
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