From my new book, Bless You Bouquets: A Memoir, I present Bless You Bouquets to my friends, the Praying Magnolias, whose supportive love and encouragement brighten my life in this place. I would present to these lovely ladies buckets full of posies. For their faithfulness, irises in every variety and color, for they have colored my life with beauty; for their love and friendship, bright pink peonies (minus the ants), fragrant and sweet; for their cheerfulness and optimism, bright mums so they continue to bless others’ lives; for their magnificence and splendor, the elegant birds of paradise; for their love, both wild, climbing roses, and the long-stemmed varieties, to show their individuality.
Praying Magnolias
Few experiences in life are as precious as friendships which weather storms and vicissitudes, bond women through laughter, tears, prayer, philosophies, and daily routines, and serve as safe harbors while traversing the challenging journey through life. I know and love such a group of incredibly strong, vibrant, yet vulnerable with each other, women.
For some twenty years, these lovely ladies have blessed each others’ lives with friendship, have served each other as prayer warriors, have encouraged each other with their knowledge and insight, have been surrogate mothers to each others’ children, have met together for early morning breakfasts, have commiserated through the hard times, have enlightened with medical and psychological information, have catered each others’ kids weddings and events, and have held each others’ faith walks accountable.
Each has shared unique perspectives, each has often spontaneously volunteered considerable talents to help in countless crises, and each has contributed to the strength of the group as a whole.
I think the magnolia image says it all. Picture it as the tree it is. Strong branched trunks, yet delicate, support its closely-linked limbs. From it, clusters of shiny leaves extend heavenward. They are brown underneath, which perhaps symbolizes the darker sides of lives through which friends give their unconditional love and advice, and vivid, shiny green on the surface, which creates a sense of openness to life, and provides broad surfaces to take in the sun’s warmth, the gentle rains, and even hurricanes’ fury with few complaints. And then, the magnificent flowers extend their purity, their beauty, their radiance, and their fragrance. Gorgeous, yet vulnerable, they shine for a season, then fade to let other blooms take center stage. Together, they provide a networked edifice of creation, structured much like this group of women, in their engagement in the whole.
The magnolia has long been known as a symbol of southern strength, beauty, and love of nature. What a tremendous parallel this is to this group of fine women. Other traits often mentioned in connection to the magnolia are perseverance, because it is evergreen and long-lived, the trinity because of its clusters of leaves, sturdiness because it withstands disease, storms, bright sunlight, and harsh conditions, and health and healing since even its bark is used in medicinal preparations. And who can forget, once having smelled its lovely flowers, the pervading fragrance which lingers, much like a lady’s perfume, reminding of her presence even when she is far away.
So it is with this bonded group of ladies.
It began, so I’m told, over twenty years ago, when four lovely ladies pledged each others’ friendship and spiritual accountability as prayer sisters. Tonia, Sherry, and Becky and Janice met frequently to share each others’ lives, to pray together, and discussed everything from husbands, to children, which then dominated their respective lives, to Scripture which undergirds each of them in their faith walks, to the latest news about medicine and health and safety, to politics and social issues, to church affairs. The accountability meant they were responsible for helping each other grow spiritually, emotionally, and in servanthood to Jesus Christ. Each of these lovely ladies is a Proverbs 31 woman, and each was determined to live life to the fullest as God-filled vessels of God’s providence, making their purpose a life-long commitment to kingdom principles.
From this the tree has sprung. Now around twenty-five women consider themselves Magnolias. Some are still local and meet for breakfast once a week; others have moved away and communicate through email and join others in retreats and events. The tree has grown. Therefore, the myriad concerns of each family, the frequent prayer requests, the bonding friendship, the health concerns, and more recently, discussions of end-of-life issues, continue to bless, and yes grieve, this close-knit fellowship of sisters.
All are still in long-term marriages and job situations at or nearing retirement, so the focus changes from the early days of child-rearing to that of advising our youngsters as they make their own life-choices. It is sometimes painful.
Often, in a middle of a sentence, we will spontaneously offer prayer for the one who is facing a difficult day at work, an examination, a doctor’s appointment, travel, or some other mentioned “crisis” which is turned over to the Lord’s special providence.
It’s just simply understood, that by praying together for a child’s test results or interview, or for hubby’s checkup or important job meeting, or for the church’s ministry, God’s sovereignty is not only respected, but requested in each situation.
Remarkable too is how these sisters jump in to assist those with needs, big or small, or problems of schedules, etc., No one is allowed to be overwhelmed when the Magnolia sisterhood hears about a need or place of service.
When crises occur, as they do, even for Christian women, the strong bond of prayer unites us and calls us together across miles and the exigencies of life. When someone asks for prayer, unquestionably and unconditionally, we drop what we’re doing and bring that intercession to the Lord’s throne.
Reliance on God’s mercy is standard operating procedure among these women, and great rejoicing occurs regularly as we recount God’s answers to our petitions for protection, for wisdom, or for healing. There is tremendous power in knowing that magnolia sisters pray for each other.
Pretty much anything can be shared when these gals gather. Latest recipes, garden delights, the latest sales, natural supplements and special diets, politics, kids’ comings and goings, and recently retirements and economically-driven moves—anything, literally, is on the table at Cracker Barrel on Tuesday mornings.
What a wealth of knowledge is shared around the breakfast table each week, and through emails, and website-sharing, and SmileBoxes. We have some awesome cooks and hostesses among us, and recipes and shopping values often dominate the conversations. And these ladies do know how to shop! The best bargains, the coupons, the sales, and the neat restaurant menus are the stuff of many a conversation.
Favorite movies, books, tapes, organizational tips, and magazine articles circle through the group on a regular basis. When closets are cleaned out, the group is offered goodies; when a need is expressed, one or more in the group will fill that need. When tips on traveling, places to see, housing, etc., are under discussion, these fine women circle the wagons and get the jobs done.
Somewhat like a kaleidoscope, these women blend their personalities, talents, backgrounds, individuality, gifts, insights, and knowledge to bless the whole. The design is not always the same. This dynamic group brings to each other and the whole, perspectives which bless each other in patterns and highlights with astonishing brilliance. Each one looks for opportunities to share. Each one listens for ways to bless the others’ lives. Each one acts upon information provided. The tree works together for the edification of the individual parts and the whole.
They laugh together, oh my, how they laugh together. Some are mere smiles, some are chuckles over ironies, but some are belly-laughs of pure hilarity. But more importantly, are the inner joyful utterances and ecstatic understandings of God’s solutions to problems we each thought were impossibilities. Especially lately, as health issues compound, God’s handiwork and perfect timing bring that special peace that passes all understanding to the fore. There is actual rejoicing when what others would consider coincidences once again lead to the phrase, “It’s a God thing!”
The mutual understanding that God works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform is recognized, celebrated, and brought to the table. It edifies each one’s walk with the Lord. It is understood that there is no luck, but providence; there are no coincidences, but Godincidences! If we are walking with the Lord, He makes opportunities for us to witness, builds hedges of protection around us, and provides for our every need—those expressed, and those we don’t even acknowledge.
Most of these amazing women are now part of the sandwich generation, between kids and elderly parents, and find their lives in turmoil. Many are experiencing that sandwich generational phenomenon with its emotional and financial implications—the role reversal that comes with parenting grown children and their parents or loved ones who are advanced in years.
Several are grieving the loss of parents, but many are in the position of making end-of-life provisions for their parents and relatives in various stages of struggles. It is amazing to see the compassion and wise counsel from those who’ve already tread these slippery slopes, advising those in the trenches, so to speak.
These women are knowledgeable and involved in the affairs of the world. They are at the forefront of the abortion-prevention campaign which continues on a daily basis. They are politically active. They follow educational policy and local campaigns. They are news savvy and see the ramifications of misled policies and programs. They’re not gripers, but doers. They, unlike the critics who just complain, take up the mantle and actually get involved to oppose injustice and change situations.
When elections fail to produce desired changes, they opt for the Biblical principle to pray for our leaders that God’s sovereign will can be evidenced for His ultimate benefit. They pray for revival, work toward peace and prosperity, and await the Lord’s direction in every circumstance.
I stand amazed at God’s provision of gifts for these ladies, and thank Him for their willingness to share their expertise on an array of subjects. Susan, Mary, and Esther are nurses, eager to share their knowledge. Especially notable is the diet-health relationship and Esther’s research-based alternative medical philosophy of living. Tonia, Esther, Nancy and others understand autism after their long years of assisting those affected by it.
Becky and Rebecca and Tonia and Sherry and others are gifted with home design and remodeling and home staging and purchasing on-line and finding the right workmen to make their homes beautiful. Judy, Nancy, and Mary are at the forefront of saving babies and serving those with crisis pregnancies. Several have the Proverbs 31 gift of business acumen. Sherry, Rebecca, Jo Ann and Kathy have their own businesses, while others have had, or still have, careers outside the home.
Several are gardening experts and love the beauty of nature and making, or at least helping, things survive in the harsh Florida environment. Tonia is our orchid enthusiast. Others are musicians or artists of true merit. Each has a God-given niche, whether by designed gift or avocation or training.
Who knows how many sacrificial meals have been prepared by these ladies. Those home from the hospital, or having house-guests, or the church-wide missions week meal celebrate the culinary skills of this group. They fill the cancer-fighter’s home with delicious meals every other day for months, so Mom can concentrate on the chronic disease ravaging her body, and know that her responsibilities are being met by those along side. The bounty from their kitchens blesses untallied tables, and throughout the years has been substantial. Where there’s a need, these Christian sisters step up and fill it, literally. And, I might add, with aplomb and willing spirits.
And, in humble contributions, they clean each other’s houses, paint, organize, and help where help is needed. No job is too big to tackle, and none is too humble a task either. Remarkably, smiles abound and strong arms assist.
Can these gals organize? Wedding receptions! They even have their own aprons! These sweet ladies could open a business if they so desired. They handle the details, big and small, to assist each other in big family events. From setting up the rooms, to preparing and serving food, to decorating sanctuaries, they’ve done, and still do, it all. Like an organized army of ants, they discover their niche, fill it, and do the job with grace, elegance, and perfection. They share the workload cheerfully, give it as a task of love, and never look for thanks. After all, the lovely magnolia flower depends on the roots, trunk, branches, and leaves to shine brightly.
Additionally, they like nothing better than witnessing God’s love to the people around them on a daily basis. They know about their waitress’s autistic grandchildren. They care about the retiring teacher who sits across the room at the restaurant. They ask each other’s advice when discipling new believers. They serve the church in innumerable positions of responsibility and behind the scenes, all in efforts to advance the kingdom’s work and influence.
If we were to draw a sociogram of all the people affected by this group, we would run out of space and time. Christian women are innately interested in each other and every family member and friend. Their conversations include not only those we see on a regular basis, but the children and grandchildren and family members in far places.
Over the twenty years they’ve been together, they’ve recounted the growing up stories, the dating scene, the marriages, the grandchildren, nieces, nephews and friends, the job histories, the struggles and triumphs, the health concerns, and prayer requests.
These are busy women, attuned to the blessings God has provided, and looking for every opportunity to serve Him and each other. Their unconditional love for each other and their loyalty is admirable. It is a blessing to know that this sisterhood goes beyond friendship; we are truly blessed as a family of believers together doing life together.
What a privilege to know and love these ladies.
I would present to these lovely ladies buckets full of posies. For their faithfulness, irises in every variety and color, for they have colored my life with beauty; for their love and friendship, bright pink peonies (minus the ants), fragrant and sweet; for their cheerfulness and optimism, bright mums so they continue to bless others’ lives; for their magnificence and splendor, the elegant birds of paradise; for their love, both wild, climbing roses, and the long-stemmed varieties, to show their individuality.
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