Here I am, in my jammies, sitting in my deteriorating old office chair, 5:00 a.m., my old cat Zachary as my writing companion, attending to my writing. I could have author-style dreams of a mountain retreat, a she-shed with flowering window boxes, a seaside cottage, anyplace where I don’t get distracted by household duties, a ringing phone, or the neighbor’s dog barking. Then, I could really get my 29th book finished today. I can only hope.
But I woke up a few minutes ago, 4:40 it was, to my favorite Psalm reminding me of God’s presence. that’s all that counts. Psalm 139:
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
Yes, it’s dark out. Zach is purring as he wraps his seventeen-year-old arthritic body around my desk laptop–“No, Zach,” as he reaches for my hand to make that all-important connection. My hands are on the keyboard–he could erase this whole piece in one furry touch. SAVE DRAFT, I hurriedly reach. But then, here I am, safe in my familiar place, where God meets me. And I think I am most blessed to rise another morning, to know exactly what I’ll write in my blog to encourage others, “God we will see in ’23” and I will recognize that He is with me every nanosecond. I am truly blessed by this knowledge. In Psalm 139 I read, “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me!” (verse 6) and then I know I can write on my now-ancient laptop, propped on top of my thick Webster’s Dictionary (very out of date too) so my aching shoulder and 82 1/2 year old sore wrists are at just the right height on my 56 year-old-Ethan Allen desk, and recognize, once more, that I’ve never had writer’s block. My Psalm tells me: Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
I can feel it in my achy joints (Ev and I worked in the front garden yesterday and will suffer for it today) that today, wherever I am, whatever I do, whatever interrupts my intended purpose, that God is in it. May I take each moment to recognize that! My aches, my desires, my responsibilities, my “I’d rathers”, are all in His control. With that, let me get busy revising chapter 17. God’s got this, and once more, I know I have Him with me, “Your hand shall lead me and Your right hand shall hold me” (verse 10). Amen, So Be It!
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